


isn’t a kid’s story

by zombeesknees



Category: Alice (TV 2009)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 16:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17267657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombeesknees/pseuds/zombeesknees
Summary: Hatter discovers Carroll’s take on Wonderland, and has some things to say about it. | Written many moons ago on LJ.





	isn’t a kid’s story

Alice kicked the door closed behind her, tossed her bag onto the coffee table, and collapsed onto the couch. 

Everything ached. Her arms, her legs, her back—even her fingernails, though she wasn’t quite sure how that was possible. She remembered her early days at the dojo vividly, the days before she’d gotten her black belt and graduated to instructor, when she’d spent more time landing on her back than her feet. It had been years since she’d had one of those days.

“Damn Rei,” she muttered under her voice. If her friend and fellow instructor hadn’t suggested a playful competition between the local schools, Alice wouldn’t be feeling like a pound of ground hamburger right now. “And damn that Mitchell and his high kicks.”

“Who's Mitchell? Is he why you’re trying to melt into the couch, and do you want me to have a word with him?”

Alice wearily raised her head from the pillow she’d buried her face in and looked up at the man who was sitting on the arm of the couch. For a fraction of a second, she thought she’d fully lost her mind—there was no way a circus ringleader was actually sitting in her living room. But then the world snapped back into focus and she recognized Hatter. 

After so many weeks, she should really be more used to seeing crazy-patterned shirts, jackets with elaborate gold braid, and top hats.

“He’s an instructor from Hi Chi’s Martial Arts, he’s only part of the reason why I’m trying to meld with the couch, and I’ve got a pretty good idea what you mean by ‘a word’ and I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

She pushed herself up and brushed strands of dark hair behind her ears. “And what exactly have you been doing with your day?”

“Reading,” he said, sliding down the couch’s arm and slinging one of his own over her shoulders. “And I wanted to talk to you about the book I found today.”

“Oh?” For a moment she wracked her brain and tried to remember if she had any salacious novels he might have discovered.

“Yep, this one right here,” and he pulled a very familiar, very old book out of his jacket. “When we first met, was this the story you were referring to?”

“Uh huh,” she said, taking the book from him and smoothing back the torn edges of the cover. 

“You know, that bloke didn’t get it half right,” Hatter said in an aggrieved tone of voice. “He made everything seem more magical than he should’ve.”

“Hatter,” Alice said complacently. “You guys make tea out of emotions, and can shrink people down and trap them in their own heads. Your Wonderland’s still pretty magical compared to this world.”

“Alright, but,” he insisted. “This flash bastard made everything seem like anthropomorphized playing cards and crumpets, and said me ‘n Mad March were loony best friends.” 

“And his Alice was blonde and awfully vacuous,” Alice pointed out. 

“Exactly. The Alice of legend was nothing like that, and neither are you. The whole book is just shoddy in its fact-checking.”

“Agreed,” Alice replied. “Still, it’s a fun kid’s story. It was my mother’s favorite book when she was young—it’s why she named me Alice. And my dad used to read me this before bed when I was a little girl. So you’ve got to concede that it has some good qualities, too.”

“Alright,” he grumbled. “But it still rankles that so many people in this world think Wonderland’s all that talking-caterpillars-and-mad-tea-parties stuff.”

“Hatter, it’s also widely known that Lewis Carroll enjoyed drugs and the company of little girls. I’m pretty sure people know his word isn’t to be entirely trusted.” Alice curved her body to his, nestled her head against his shoulder, and began to play with the braid on his jacket. She could hear his heart jump into a wild, staccato beat in response.

“So when you first met me,” he said after a long pause, “did you think I was going to start shoving you about whilst screaming ‘Clean cup, move down!’”

“When I first met you, all I could think about was the fact that I’d just fallen from a flying bug into a very cold lake and didn’t know where Jack was.”

At the mention of the King of Wonderland’s name, Hatter stiffened. She felt the tension building in his arm.

“Hey,” she straightened and met his eyes squarely. “That was a long time ago. And I’m a different person now.”

“I know,” he said quietly. 

“And anyway, you’re far cuter than any Mad Hatter I could have imagined when I was reading that silly book. Cuter, and sweeter, and way sexier when you’re swinging that sledgehammer of yours around.” She took him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss that made his hair curl. 

“You like the sledgehammer?” he mumbled, cross-eyed and breathless, after they’d parted.

“Oh yeah,” she grinned. “I’m a girl who can admire a man’s dangerous physicality.”

“‘Dangerous physicality’? I like the sound of that.” His hands slid around her waist and pulled her closer. She obliged by swinging a leg over his, straddling him as she molded her curves to him. 

“You’re brill, you know that?” he murmured.

“Think so?”

“Know so.” 

“I’m too grown up for those silly kid’s stories any more,” Alice said, dropping the book onto the floor and turning her attention to his shirt’s buttons. “I’d rather write an adult’s only sort of story right now.”

He reached up, caught the brim of his top hat with a twist of his fingers, and deftly tossed it onto the hat rack by the door. “So, Miss Alice, how do you intend to make this Hatter go mad tonight?”

“I can think of a fun way or two,” she whispered as he kissed the hollow of her throat and slid his warm, warm hands under her shirt.


End file.
